This boy is home.

Friends, family, and lovers. On several occasions now, I would be hapless and homeless without your support. You all have given me places to call home in this life. Thank You.

This boy is @ a Semi-Random Family Home in Cheektowaga: Bills Adventure Week 3

Score: Saints 27, Bills 7

This week, Michele and I were invited to a friend-dinner at Kelsey's home in Cheektowaga. We, or rather I, watched the game on the kitchen TV (that's right, a television in the kitchen!) as we chatted and prepared tasty foods. Reluctantly for me, the Bills weren't the only thing served up on a plate that evening! She knows next to nothing about football, but Kelsey's home cookin' scored a touchdown in my playbook. Cheesy.

I feel the need to mention that the dessert was especially delicious and consisted of homemade cookies, Kugle, and a Bill's Turnover.... Okay okay, too much? I'll stop. But only because I can't think of any good puns for that fantastic fake field goal attempt turned touchdown. It was almost as good as the Kugle.

That's it, really. After dinner and the humiliating loss we piled onto the couch with full bellies, watched Serenity, and shared in a many hearty laughs. Fun was had by all and if there's anything that I learned from this experience it's that my beloved Bills are merely a sweet & sour side-dish to the main course of good times topped with a heaping pile of good friends.

Next Up: Fish is on the menu! Tune in as Tim will be watching the Bills hunt the Dolphins from a submarine!

This boy is @ the Caffe Aroma: Bills Adventure Week 1 & 2

Stolen Arts from Lesliezart.com, look it's me with Bruce front and center. Weird.

Why the hell go to a coffee shop to watch the Bills? Why the hell not! Sports bars are boring.

I'm pretty sure I cleared this up in the first post, but in case you didn't catch wind, there is nothing is more repulsive to me than bro's and jocks yelling FOOTBALL or BEEER or GO COWBOYS. Yes, I'll visit said jocks at some bar some weekend in this sixteen week adventure, feigning the man's man talk of sports and audible grunts, but I'd prefer to put it off for a bit. As you'll read, even at a coffee shop I still saw a fight with cops called in!

At the moment, my current financial condition doesn't allow me the pleasure of ordering multiple deliciously overpriced Cold Ones anyway. So to start, I picked the Elmwood Village's trendy Caffe Aroma, on the corner of Elmwood Ave and Bidwell Ave, for their cheap re-fillable coffees, their completely random flat-screen television, and free wifi to browse job listings during commercials and half-time.

I have to admit, I was a little worried that as I biked Bruce up to Caffe Aroma, I would peer through the window and find the coffee shop tuned into some artsy tv instead of ESPN. But wait, no matter how trendy or hip, this is Buffalo. Sure enough, Bills on TV... and winning 7-0! No way, what luck!

I ordered a cup of coffee, settled into a chair, opened my powerbook, and watched as the Bills went on to heartbreakingly lose in the last few minutes of a game they had all but won against a division rival they haven't beaten since 2003! Candor friend Dan said it best in this tweet:

dflynnblake: Wow bills. You out-billsed Yourself tonight. Holy crap.

10:14 PM Sep 14th from txt

For shame Bills, for shame.

Anyway, horrible loss aside, Caffe Aroma was a delightful little place to see a football game. Sure, the staff wasn't too thrilled with sports on the tv. In fact, during the Bucs game they were a lot a bit vocal about that. Too bad for them, this is Buffalo. Where else can you publicly watch T.O. pop popcorn and listen to Regina Spektor bip bopping her way through an album? Plus wifi access for fantasy updates and checking fashion blogs! With this special cross-section of fans, who could resist a bit of people-watching?

At that first Monday night game, I counted at least four other introverts watching the game out of the eight or so patrons. Most notably, a man in his mid-40's who just couldn't stay in a book (that he was just dying to read) because he couldn't pull himself away from the game. During the Bucs game there were triple the amount of fans. As I was unlocking Bruce outside afterward I saw another fan (a girl-fan!) exit the coffee shop with the grit to don a complete fan-outfit with Bills t-shirt and hat just like me! Props girl, props.

Of course, there's a certain sadness to the situation. We the introverts without tv wanting to watch our Bills while our sports-hating friends are off doing non-football-Sunday-afternoon things. All the while, we're too afraid or just completely uninterested in mixing with the guys packed into the bar across the street. So we take our refuge in the comfort of a nice quiet... "STOP BEIN' RACIS'! STOP BEIN' RACIS'!" What the fuck? Everyone gets really quiet and turns toward the commotion coming from the counter. There's some guy from the psychiatric ward (just a few blocks away) yelling and throwing his empty coffee cup at the poor barrista. She phones the police as an extremely tall, extremely weird, and extremely friendly indian man escorts said yelling crazy man out of the caffe. Random. Yes. I saw an assault during a Bills game that was completely non-sports related. I don't believe for a second she was being racist, but I do believe she was being a complete bitch to a man with a visible mental disability.

Aside from random assault, things stayed pretty quiet. In fact, staying quiet in itself presented a problem. I suggest fans with sports anger issues to try watching a game at any coffee shop. A single angry peep and you'll be asked to leave. All the same, fans ever so slightly raised excited hands during Aaron Schobel's miraculous TD interception, while quietly pounding fists into coffee tables as McKelvin lost the game with his fumbled kick return. I personally kept a "I Want Nothing More Than to Scream Loudly at a Dumb TV" score for myself. Basically, how it worked is I took a tally for every time I quieted myself from yelling. Score from the Patriots game:

5 "YEAH"s and "ALRIGHT"s

3 very very angry "GODDAMMIT"s and "MOTHERFUCKER"s (sorry mom)

For the record, I angrily threw my pen at my table then audibly swore when McKelvin fumbled on the kick return. During the Bucs game, my notes show only two "I Want Nothing More Than to Scream Loudly at a Dumb TV" instances; quite possibly because the Bills won handily against a poor NFC South team.

Next up: Bills vs Saints randomly at a Dinner Night with Michele and Kelsey (neither of whom like football) at Kelsey's Family's House (whose mom loves football) in Cheektowaga!